Just My Random Perverted Thoughts

I was in the shower, hot water cascading over my body.
Suddenly the shower door opened, letting in nasty cold air. MP grabbed my hair and hauled me out of the shower. Then she picked up the bath brush and spanked my wet bottom very hard a dozen times.
“You’re a very naughty boy!” was the only response I got, then just as suddenly as she arrived, she was gone.

I finished my shower, all the while thinking; WTF?

I dressed and went into the living room. MP was arranging a dozen red roses in a vase.
“You bought me flowers, that was very naughty!” she commented.
“Most wives like flowers, so why is this naughty?”
“We agreed not to do the gift thing this year.”
“They are flowers, not a Christmas gift, just flowers, I can buy flowers for you anytime…”
She giggled, “Did you like your spanking?”
“Unexpected, I got soap in my eyes, it totally confused me.”
“I was coming to thank you for the flowers, but I watched you in the shower and your bum looked so cute I just couldn’t help myself, so I spanked you instead. A sort of thank you for the flowers spanking.”

Next year I am sending her a dozen Triffids! That’ll give her a reason to spank me.

Happy Holidays to all our readers!

Photo from DOMAI

Off we went to the Christmas party at the Nude Spa.

The spa was decorated for Christmas, with a tree and tinsel and all the ‘stuff’. Slightly garish lights but as I really only ‘do’ minimalist and don’t ‘do’ Christmas I am probably not the best judge.

The place was packed, I had never seen so many naked folk in one place before. YAY for naked people is a festive mood. I just wondered what MP was going to get up to.

I soon realised what MP had planned, she had a towel that nearly but no quite went around her, so bits of her peeped out. She was flaunting herself all over the place, shameless hussy!

She bent over in the sauna to put some more water on the coals, pushing her bum out. She sat on the bench with her legs slightly open right by the sauna door. Her boobs just would not stay inside the towel.

In the rest room she sat on a chair with her knees bent up to her chin.
“Do you like me flashing myself?” she asked. “It has an interesting effect on some of the boys.” she giggled.
“You’re very naughty.” I told her, but secretly I did quite like it.
She leaned across and whispered in my ear. “Let’s find a private room so you can spank me for being so naughty me then you can fuck me.” Of course with MP being deaf whisper is a relative term. I think the whole room heard. I am surprised they didn’t all chorus “We know where you’re going!” as we left to go find a private room.

Much to my surprise there was a vacant rest room, so we locked ourselves in.
MP stretched out on the bed face down, naked. I gently ran my hands over her back and bum. She arched her back and wiggled her bum. I smacked her cheeks hard with my hand.
“That does not hurt!” was the response.
I smacked her harder, hurting my hand. Damn, I should have brought an implement.
“You will just have to wait until I get you home, then you’re getting a proper spanking.”
MP turned over and rubbed herself suggestively between her legs, then she tugged on my willy.
“Come on then big boy, let’s see what you can do with this!”

Some time later we exited the rest room and headed for the showers.
“Want to wash me?” she asked. She threw her towel on the bench and stood under the warm water, running her hands over her body.
“You’ll get us chucked out, again!”
“No one’s watching, wash me please.” She rubbed her body up against mine.
I ran my hands over her body, soaping and lathering.
“You’re all stiff again. Perhaps when we get home and after you’ve spanked me we can have sex again?” She did her ‘little girl lost’ look.
“Maybe.” I pulled her from the shower and we dried ourselves before heading for the changing room.

As we walked down the road towards the car she ran ahead and lifted the back of her skirt. Then she turned around and lifted the front.
“Do you like me commando?”
“Yeah, I think I do; wait ’til I get you home…”

I never had MP down as such a little flaunt, but it was really fun to watch her exhibitionism. It raised a few smiles, (and a few erections!) from some of the other guests. Better still; we didn’t get chucked out!

MP came home with a big grin on her face. She lifted the hem of her skirt and pulled her knickers down.
“What do you think?” as she showed off her bald minge.
“I didn’t think you liked being bald, especially as we are out naked in public tomorrow?”
“Ah yes, well I have an idea for some fun and it’ll work better with a bald minge.”

She won’t elaborate but I have a funny feeling we are going to cause trouble again.

..in the UK, deep mid winter, so we thought we would cheer ourselves up this weekend by visiting the nude spa.

In the past we have got ourselves into a LOT of trouble at this spa, so I told MP she had to behave herself!.

“I have an idea for something we can do!” Was MP’s response; then she did her coy ‘little girl lost’ look, which basically means trouble.

So we are all booked in to go this Saturday. (Probably be banned by Sunday!) Watch this space.

Amelia Jane in her perfect British ‘cut glass’ accent says “fucking hell!”!

Northern Spanking.

There was a lot of noise, machinery type noise; and a voice; a concerned voice.
“Can you hear me?” the voice said.
“Yes.”
I opened my eyes, I was on the floor. I had a nasty taste in my mouth, the floor smelt dirty.
“In a minute we are going to lift you up and pop you back in a seat.” the voice said.
Strong arms helped me to my feet and I was gently placed in a nice wide armchair.
“Are you Ok?” The voice belonged to a nice lady in smart blue uniform.
“We will be at London Gatwick soon and we can get you some help.”

On the flight home from Portugal I had gone to the toilet and feinted on the way back to my seat.

The cabin crew, British Airways, were wonderful. The gentleman that helped me off the ‘plane and through immigration and customs on an electric car was nice too.

Thanks to BAA and BA staff.

Next time I get to sit in first class I hope I am well enough to enjoy it!

We were staying at a hotel close to London Airport, as we had an early flight to Portugal and we did not want to have to fight through the rush hour traffic.

We had a leisurely dinner in the restaurant, and a drink or two in the bar. At dinner MP came over all silly and did her little girl act, a sure sign she is feeling sexy and/or submissive.

On the way up to the room she grabbed the room key off me and ran ahead out of the elevator. Along the corridor to the room she pulled off her dress and let it drop to the floor. In just her knickers, bra and hold ups she ran for the room opened the door and went in. Then her hand appeared waving her knickers and she tossed them into the corridor.

So I thought “It’s going to be THAT sort of an evening!”

There is something about staying in hotels that makes MP go streaking, I am not sure why. Still it gives the guys watching the CCTV something to tell their mates down the pub I suppose!

While we were away on holiday being ill, we upgraded our internet connection. So now we have super fast ADSL2+.

As Dr House so succinctly puts it in this audio clip:- doctor-house-on-porn.wav
we are going to be very busy in the next few days downloading all those lovely video clips that just took too long to download on our slow connection.

YAY for ADSL!

Fuck it! We feel like shit!

One day into our trip we came down with ‘flu, so we spent 10 days in bed.

(10 days in bed on holiday sounds like fun, but no when you have ‘flu!)

Our culinary workshops had to be cancelled, we just could not do it.

We should have stayed at home, cheaper, and I prefer to be ill in my own bed.