If you are a hot girl who tweets about sex and posts pictures of yourself naked then you will probably do quite well. See CurvaceousDee and NaiveLondonGirl.
Better still be a four legged furry pet, cute cats do very well. See Sockington.
Top of the tree is to be middle aged, gay, male and quintessentially British. See stephenfry.
So where does that leave a geeky nudist? Nowhere really. See Pervy_thoughts.
“I think you deserve the cane.” MP decided.
“You started it, you pulled my pubes.”
“You started it by sending me to the salon for a minge wax.”
“That was months ago, maybe a year ago, anyway it was chance, we rolled a dice, you lost, and you spanked me with the bath brush when you got back from the salon.”
“So what?”
“And you have voluntarily gone for a minge wax since then, that’s what.”
“I want to cane you, it excites me.”
“So what?”
MP stood closer and whispered in my ear. “If you submit to the cane you can have anal sex.”
She looked at me, “I can see the wheels turning…”
“While you fuck my bum I’ll rub my cunt with the big red vibrator. But you have to take 12 with the cane first.”
“I am not sure.”
“You can use a ribbed condom.” She wandered off to the bedroom, returning with the lube, condoms, the cane and the big red vibrator. She undressed. She put her arms around me, feeling the front of my pants.
“You’re all stiff. Wanna play now, big boy?” She stepped back and picked up the cane. Flexed it and swished it through the air. She turned to show off her bum, wiggled it seductivly. She was still slightly marked from the caning I had given her a couple of days before.
“Get undressed and bend over the chair.” She tapped the back of the chair.
I undressed. She gigled. “Doesn’t take much for me to get my own way, does it?”
“No Mistress.”
“I am so wanting to cane you, and I am so wet, here feel me.”
She pulled my hand to her crotch and I ran my fingers between her legs. She was soaked.
“Lick your fingers. Do I taste nice?”
“Yes Mistress.”
“Don’t you dare move! You deserve this thrashing.”
The anticiation, the pain, the pleasure. Oh my!
MP ran her hand down my tummy and into my pubic hair. She tugged gently on the hairs.
“Ouch!” I slapped her hand. The hand moved off to caress my chest.
Five fingers scratched my tummy down to my pubic hair, then they gripped and tugged sharply on the hair.
“Yeow. Fuck! Ouch!” I lent across and spanked her hard on the bottom. She responded by pulling my chest hair, then the hair on my head and then my pubes again.
“Aaah! Ow!” I reached out to bedside table and grabbed the red paddle, and smacked her bottom as hard as I could. The angle was all wrong so it was not very hard really.
She grabbed another handful of pubes and twisted.
“Fucking hell that hurt.” I pushed her over onto her tummy and sat on her, pinning her down. I reached over for the leather cuffs and after a struggle cuffed her wrists to the bed post. I pulled the rope from under the bed and tied her feet to the hooks at the end of the bed.
I stood up and turned the light up a bit so that I could see what I was doing. I pulled the thin cane from the toy-box and stood flexing it.
She turned her head to look at me.
“You would not dare.”
The first stroke landed hard across the middle of her bottom.
“Ow!”
The next three followed in quick succession.
“Ow, Yow, fuck you!”
Two more much harder and a bit lower down.
“Aaah that’s vicious.”
“Going to behave yourself then?”
She stuck her tongue out.”
I swished her six times in quick succession across the sit spot of her bottom.
“Beast, ow yow, aaaarrrrggghhh!”
Her bottom looked very attractive with it’s stripes. I did wonder if I could fuck her from behind while she was restrained, but her legs were closed which rather precludes entry.
I untied her feet and then uncuffed her wrist.
She grabbed me and pulled me on top.
“Fuck me hard, put your stiff cock in my hot wet cunt!”
So that’s what she wants.
I thrust hard into her, she wrapped her legs around my hips and we thrust against each other. Her cunt contracted hard on my cock as she came, and soon we were coming together. Not content with one orgasm she held me locked by her legs as she ground her hips against me taking another orgasm, while I struggled to cope with the bitter sweet pain from my post orgasm super sensitised cock.
Eventually we collapsed in a heap panting from our exertions; the bed messy with girl come, boy come and sweat.
“I am so going to get you back for caning me.” MP said.
“You telling me you did not want it?”
“No, I am telling you I want to retaliate, that’s not the same thing!”
Over on Naughty Eliot’s blog there is post about online personality tests.
I thought I would check out the Nerd/Geek/Dork test. Turns out I am completely normal. I thought I was a bit Geeky.
Disappointed with the result of the geek test I went for the Sexual Purity test, certain that I would score well here. Turns out I am 48% pure, somewhat Debacherous. Another disappointment.
Who needs stupid online tests anyway? At least the Jung Myers-Briggs profile gets it right. I am INTJ.
Got this off of Eliot. I just finished posting my responses as a comment on her blog. And that’s how it goes–post your answers in a comment here and then post the questions on your blog for you readers.
1. Can you cook?
2. What was your dream growing up?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favourite place?
5. Favourite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. What zodiac sign are you ?
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
9. Worst Habit?
10. Do we know each other outside of blogging?
11. What is your favourite sport?
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
16. Do you have any pets?
17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
18. What time is it where you are now?
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22. What colour eyes do you have?
23. Ever been arrested?
24. Favourite fictional character of all time?
25. If you won £10,000 Sterling today, what would you do with it?
26. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
27. What’s your favourite hangout?
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
29. Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
30. Do you swear a lot?
31. Biggest pet peeve?
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
I love a good protest! So take a look at this:- The New Zealand Internet Blackout
Although I totally approve of the protest, and consider the proposed law to be crass in the extreme, I will not be blacking out my Twitter avatar, or any other come to that.
Looking at my vanilla Twitter account many of the folk that I follow are blacked out, and I can’t easily tell one from another. There must have been a better way to protest. Plus, as far as I know, the NZ government does not follow me on Twitter, so my protest would probably be a bit in vain. (The UK government probably is following me, but that’s a different mater.)
But big hitter Stephen Fry is blacked out, so 194,000 followers will get the message loud and clear. Way to go Fry!
Would you like a vibrator that requires no batteries, can be charged in 90 seconds and then will run for more than 30 minutes? Thought so! OK so this device does not exist yet but:-
The technology exists in the form of the Coleman FlashCell Cordless Screwdriver.
It can’t be long before the technology migrates from DIY in the garage to DIY in the bedroom.
And for the true geek DIY enthusiast you could probably modify the screwdriver so that it vibrates. Think eccentric weight on the shaft with a penis shaped cover that slides over the whole thing.
The door was locked. Strange, I was expecting MP to be home. I had a sudden panic and thought that some disaster had happened and she had had to rush off. Odd that she had not sent me an SMS text.
A slightly confused and lonely cat sat on the couch. I looked in the office, no note, no clue at all as to where she might be.
Her cellphone was on her desk so no point in calling or texting… Then my phone rang.
“It’s OO here, MP is with me, come around.” So she is with the neighbour. Looks like we are all playing together. I strolled along the road to OO’s house.
I was about to knock on the door when it opened in front of me. OO beckoned me in. I followed her through to the lounge where MP was waiting. OO’s lovely ornate whipping bench was centre stage, as was a table with a collection of implements.
“Get undressed.” she said. The two ladies stood watching me. I took my clothes off. They grabbed me and pulled me over to the bench and strapped me in.
“Did you enjoy spanking me the other evening ?” OO asked.
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Now it’s my turn to spank you.”
I thought that they would take turns to spank me, instead they spanked me together, one each side. You learn new things about your friends all the time. I had just discovered that OO likes to top and she is left handed. And she has a strong left arm; OUCH!
The worked their way through hands, paddles and finally the canes.
“Does he always make this much fuss when he gets caned?” OO asked.
“Yeah he can be a bit of a wimp!” MP confirmed.
“Me a wimp? Who struggles and shouts and swears and tries to escape when she is spanked?” Perhaps I should not have mentioned it as MP whacked me hard a few more times.
“I’ll go and get the ginger.” OO said.
Ginger. What the fuck? Something cold and wet was stuck up my bum. Then the burn started. I wiggled about a bit but it did not help.
“Uncomfortable?” MP asked.
“Yes!”
“I told you you would be uncomfortable.”
“Lasts about 20 minutes, time for a cuppa.”
So they sat on the sofa, chatting and drinking tea while I suffered.”
“JW will be home soon.”
“I’ll take mine home, he is cooking our evening meal.”
They unstrapped me.
“Get dressed.” MP said, “You can keep the ginger in until we get home.” She giggled.
I pulled my clothes on. As I went out the door OO patted my bottom.
“Nice bum! I enjoyed spanking you.”
“Back home MP told me to get undressed.
“You can spend the rest of the evening naked, I like to see a well smacked bum, and yours is particularly cute and very well spanked.”
“Can I take the ginger out now?”
“I suppose so…”
“Are you comfortable sitting there?” MP asked.
“Yes I am.” I replied.
“Something we haven’t done for a while, made you very uncomfortable.”
She gave me that look, the one that says she has plans.
“When you get home on Tuesday evening we going to play, I am going to be the dominatrix bitch from hell, and you’re my slave, and I am very displeased with you. Got it!”
“What have I done?”
“You exist, that’s a good enough reason to thrash you sensless!”
I am out visiting a client Tuesday afternoon, and I am not going to be able to concentrate knowing what is waiting for me when I get home. She has not topped me for quite a while, so it’s going to be interesting.
You know you’re not with your regular partner when…
…you wake up on a different side of the bed.
…you reach out to cuddle her and a thin girl is beside you.
…she does not struggle and try to escape when you spank her.
…you can have a conversation in the dark.
…you are using a condom!
