Just My Random Perverted Thoughts

Stolen from All Things Spanking

A damp Thursday in the nudist club, I thought I would have the place to myself.

By the late afternoon I thought that I really should get showered and dressed ready to visit a client in the early evening.

I was in the shower block, tidying the place up a bit after my shower, mopping the floor and getting the hair out of the plug hole. Oh the joy of having long hair again.

(Perhaps I should point out that these are unisex communal showers.)

The door banged and a woman came in, struggling with her wash bag and towels, she was walking with a stick, or cane if you prefer, and she wobbled and practically fell in the room after struggling with the door and it’s stiff self closing spring.

She dumped her stuff down on the bench, took her gown off and hung it up. Then she wobbled unsteadily across the floor to the shower.

“Could you help me step in?” she asked.
The showers have quite a high step with a lip to negotiate to get in. I held her arm and she stepped over the lip and into the shower.
“Could you put the money in the slot?”
The showers cost 20 pence and there is coin slot meter just outside the cubicle. I put the coin in and the shower burst into life. The woman did not draw the curtain across and water started to splash over the freshly mopped floor. I leaned on my mop and waited. The woman was lathering herself up. It was really difficult not to watch. I mopped the floor a bit to keep the flood at bay.
“Do you like watching me?” she asked. She soaped her boobs and rubbed all around them.
I looked up and smiled.
“Will you wash my back?” she offered a mitten with a rough texture. She turned around and looked back at me over her shoulder. “Take the mitten.”
I stepped over and took the mitten. It was impossible to wash her stood out side the cubicle so I stepped inside. I rubbed at her back with the coarse mitten.
“Harder, much harder, my back really itches.”
I scrubbed away at her back, which turned a delicate shade of pink. My spectacles started to steam up and soon I was blind. I stopped scrubbing and took my specs off. A different king of blind.
“I can’t see a thing.” I complained.
“You can do it by feel, keep rubbing.”
I scrubbed away a bit more. The woman turned around and pressed up against me.
“This is nice, I didn’t expect company for my shower.”
“Nor did I.”
She shut the water off.
“Help me out?”
“In a moment, I need to clean my spectacles.”
I stumbled out of the shower and found my towel. I wiped my lenses and put the spectacles back on. The woman was watching from the cubicle.
“We made the floor all wet again.”
“Never mind, I can mop it again.” I handed her the cane and she stepped unsteadily from the shower. She wobbled across the floor and picked up her towel. She stood rubbing herself dry. She watched me mopping the floor as she dried herself.
After a while she put her robe on and collected her things.
“We must do this again sometime.” As she walked past me towards the door she ran her fingernails down my back. Then she gently slapped my bottom.
“Nice bum! See you later. Thanks for helping me.”
The door banged and she was gone.
I finished mopping the floor, then hurried back to my RV as I was now running late for my appointment. But I kept thinking, WTF?

This is a bit of nonsense, but fun. Spot the nude dude in the picture then click on him.

Nude dude at the beach.
Nude dude at Mardi Gras.

A girl and her scissors, stolen from Deviant Art.

This is just me testing, but I thought I would use a rude picture to do it. If you click HERE does it take you to a picture of a depilated, pierced cunt?

The link is only clickable on the expanded view of the post. I wonder if I can change that?

Picture from my friends at Abby Winters.

The British summer has arrived and I fully intend to spend most of it naked at the nudist club. I have a new RV which I can live in full time; I have mobile broadband internet and a cellphone so I can move my office to the nudie club. That’s the theory at least.

The nudists are quite vanilla in many ways, overt sexual activities are really frowned upon, so wandering around with a freshly smacked bottom is not really an option.

As regular readers may recall; in the past I have done a towel shuffle by the swimming pool to hide a caned bottom, and then there was the evening at the nude spa where we deliberately showed off our spanked bottoms, but these were exceptions, not the norm.

So it looks like the implements that mark for more than a few hours will have to stay in the toybox until September, and I will content myself with hands and paddles and floggers.

My soft delicate bottom will tingle with expectation as the autumn (fall) approaches and I can once again return to the more severe implements.

I am writing this in the nude, sitting outside under the RV’s awning, my MacBook perched on my knees.
Warm sunshine.
Naked folk sunbathing on the lawn nearby.
A long lazy summer ahead of me.
It’s a hell of a job, but I suppose someone has to do it!

I got bored with the minimalist look, so New Theme!

Very English. I hope you like it.

Comments are always welcome, even if they are a bit critical.

I think I am there.

Posts from old blog moved over, comments from old blog moved, Blogroll moved, counter moved and set to 1000. Same theme as before so it looks just the same.

We are GO on the new blog!

I spent the weekend at the nudist club testing the new RV, (New to my ownership, it has had one previous owner.)

The new one is much bigger and better than the previous one, lots more space and facilities and it includes a full size cooker. I decided to try cooking a Sunday roast meal, leg of lamb, roast potatoes, Jerusalem artichokes and cabbage.

The meal was cooking and we were getting gently intoxicated on Waggle Dance beer. The meal turned out fine, typical of an RV there is not enough work surface around the cooker but never mind. Once the meal was eaten and washed up we thought that we would watch a DVD in bed.

The RV has a U shaped lounge at the back which converts into a huge double bed. We pushed and pulled and wiggled and shoved but no way could we make the slide out bit under the seat slide out to make a double bed. Finally we gave it up as a bad job and struggled up into the over cab bed instead.

We discovered a few things about over cab sleeping…
It’s cosy up there with two.
It is quite comfy.
You can bang your head on the roof quite easily.
You can bang your arse as well during certain, ahem, physical activities…
It’s a real pain to get out of in the middle of the night if you need a pee.

Next morning I re-examined the slide out bit of lounge. Sobriety has it’s advantages and I noticed that there were two screws and wing nuts locking the slide out in place. Undo the screws et voilà! the bed slides out. I suspect the previous owner had made the modification to stop the bed sliding out unexpectedly while driving, and it probably stops it rattling.

So next time I need the double bed it should work out OK.

Moral of the story? Test your new RV sober!

I know it’s no big deal to you guys who get 1000’s of hits a day but I just hit the 1K.