Just My Random Perverted Thoughts

Photography is banned in the nudist club. The committee don’t mind the odd picture taken on your own ‘plot’; so taking pictures near my RV, which is in a quite secluded corner, is OK, but in the general areas of the club it’s no go.

So turning up in the formal gardens with a DSLR, tripod, props, clothes and sundry other kit was asking a bit much.

TW and I chose early morning, about 8AM. The light is just right and there is usually no one around. (I discovered that TW’s photographic skills are next to zero, so it was set up the shot then get her to push the button. It worked out quite well really.)

We were just packing up and thinking of getting breakfast when John the nosey camp member turned up. He did not totally buy the cover story of botanical photographs.
“The irises are lovely at the moment!”
John wandered off muttering about ‘no photography’ so now it looks like the whole club knows that Fred in the RV wears girls’ knickers and takes illegal photographs.

Look at all the trouble we go to and the risks we take to get a few HNT pictures for your voyeuristic pleasure.

We do get a bit of a thrill out of it too!

I am back home. Sore, tired but OK.
I went into hospital Wednesday morning, operated on later that same day and came home in the late afternoon.
The operation was carried out under a local anaesthetic with the surgeon chatting about his Mac computer and Vivaldi playing in the background. The only bad part was fitting the cannula to my hand so they could feed me IV antibiotics. I don’t do sharp pointy things.

TW is clucking about like a mother hen looking after me. The only downside to all this is that I am not allowed to drive for a few weeks. Not a great loss but a bit inconvenient.

I have a souvenir of my adventure. My old pacemaker.

So that’s it for another 8 years.

I have an appointment with the surgeon, for a bit of cardiac surgery.

I am being admitted into hospital 20 May, it should only be for a few days, the British National Health Service throws patients out quickly ‘cos they need the beds…

So it’s nurses with sharp pointy things and surgeons with even sharper scalpels.
Not my scene at all!
Even the nice starched nurses uniforms do not make up for the bad!

All being well you should see a new post and new tweets after the weekend, maybe sooner.

Of course if it all goes quiet…….

It’s been quiet here lately, real life has rudely interrupted the flow.

The problem is that I am about to go into hospital and I have been tidying up a few loose ends and finishing off a work project so that I can take time out from my work for a week or so.

Next week I get to play participate with doctors and nurses.
I am not looking forward to it!

Here is Pappy, from my friends at Abby Winters. It’s another click through!

I have been tagged by Naughty Eliot!

I was tagged once before, and I forgot to reply. My bad, sorry PrefectDT!

Thanks to Eliot and (rather belatedly) PrefectDT for the awards.

PrefectDT makes an interesting point in his post, It gets very difficult to find a selection of bloggers to send the tag and the award to. Indeed Eliot failed to find five more. I am not even going to try.

The maths on this shows how quickly it becomes an impossible task.

Tag 5 bloggers. (5)
They tag 5 each. (25)
They tag 5 each. (125)
They tag another 5. (625)
You get the idea. (3125)
Fuuuuucked!

Pyramid tagging just does not work for more than a few links before falling over.

But to comply with Eliot’s tag, five things about me I think are sexy. (Or I am told are sexy by others…)

Hmmm…..

1: My long hair, the girls really like it.
2: My bottom, I am told it’s cute.
3: My eccentric lifestyle. People are fascinated.
4: Apparently I have a wicked sense of humour.
5: A firm left hand, ideal for spanking.

Living in an RV is really rather good, the RV is self contained, I have all the mod cons. Except for doing the laundry, for that I have to either do it by hand in the sink, NOT, or go find a facility. Just such a facility is on site in the nudist club, two machines and a dryer. One of the unfathomable mysteries of nudist living is why both these machines are in use when I want to wash my clothes.

Today as I went passed the laundry room I checked to see if the machines were in use. Amazingly both were free, and no sign of any other person about to use them. I rushed back to the RV to grab my dirty clothes and was about to head off to do the laundry. Just as I was about to leave TW called by.
“What’s the big rush?” She asked.
“Laundry, both machines are free.”
“Great, you can do mine for me!”
A few minutes later in the laundry room TW puts a big bag of washing next to mine, gave me that big smile, and left. Since when was I her laundry slave?

I decided to sort the clothes into two heaps, colours and whites, and do different cycles in each machine. You see, I am really quite domesticated.

TW’s laundry was a couple of bras, a couple of dresses and a thousand pairs of knickers. I exaggerate slightly for effect, but 90% of the wash was knickers.

I am sorting all the clothes out and I have a big pile of her knickers on the floor, the first machine is underway and I am about to load the second machine when a head appears around the door.
“Is a machine free?” the head asks. It’s John, he is an elderly and very camp gentleman, and a bit nosey.
“No John, sorry they are both in use, I am about to put my stuff in this one.”
John looked at the pile of TW’s knickers, then at me. He gave me an odd look.
“I’ll come back later Fred.”
“I’ll give you a shout when I am done.”
“Er, OK, thanks!”
The head withdrew from the door.

So now the whole nudist club has probably heard that Fred in the RV wears girl’s knickers. Just fucking brilliant!

I sat watching TW doing the washing up. She was clearing up after our evening meal. It’s impossible to help, there just isn’t enough space in the RV. She was quite happy to wash up after I had cooked the meal.

She was naked, her tall slim body catching the lignt from the open RV door. Sunset was making the light golden, enhancing her all over tan. Each time she bent over to the cupboards or streached up to the overhead lockers the view of her bottom made me think that I really should put her over my lap and smack her bum hard and make her squeal. Thinking these naughty thoughts made me excited and aroused so my cock became stiff.

Eventually with the washing up finished TW made a cup of tea (we are British, we like tea) and she came to sit beside me. We gently sipped our tea.
“What’s that all about?” she asked, and pointed to my cock.
“Well,” I answered “It’s like this, I was watching you wash up and I was looking at your bum and I thought how nice it would be to put you over my lap and smack you.”
I was not sure what to expect by the way of a reply.
She stood up, pushed the table back, and lay gently over my lap. I had not expected instant compliance!
“You’re the wrong way round for a southpaw.”
She did a 180. “I have fantasiesed about this for a long time.” She said, then she wiggled her bum at me.
I smacked her hard six times on each cheek with my hand.
“Is that the best you can do?” She got up and fetched her handbag. (Purse) She took out a dinky little wooden hairbrush. She laid it on the seat next to me and then laid back over my lap.
I smacked her six times on each cheek with the brush.
“Oh come on, harder, as hard as you can.”
So I did, six more on each cheek. This time she squealed and wriggled against my lap.
“We have the door and most of the windows open.” I said, “Perhaps we should close them.”
She laughted, and got up off my lap. Her bum was a delicate shade of pink. We closed the windows and doors.
“Do you have any toys?” she asked.
“I left them all behind, so I have nothing. Sorry.”
“I have a vast collection in my ‘van, I could go fetch them.”
She left the RV and headed out naked. I wondered if she realised that she had a pink bum.
A few minutes later she was back with a small suitcase and a fishing rod case.
“She open the case and tipped out the canes, then she unzipped the lid of the suitcase.
WOW! She had all sorts of stuff, spanking stuff, bondage stuff, vibrating stuff.
“Shall we make up the bed then have an evening in?” she asked.
I stowed the table, pulled out the slideout to make the double bed then re-arranged the cushions.
“I see you have it down to a fine art now.” She was making fun of my first failed attempt to make the bed.
“Yeah, it’s easy when you know how.”
She held up a tub of coconut oil. “I could massage your back and shoulders?”
I lay down, she straddled my legs and her soft hands began to work on my shoulders.
“This is nice.” She said. “Very nice…”