Just My Random Perverted Thoughts

This is a new occasional feature for JMRPT.

Stuff I wish I didn’t know!

I found this by following a link from Stephen Fry’s Twitter feed to an article in the British newspaper “The Telegraph”.

This guy gets off by going in farmyards and covering himself in cow shit then wanking.

I know it takes all sorts to make a world but really I didn’t need to know this.

I want it out of my head please.

It reminds me of the ‘Two Girls One Cup’ video that I was shown; that will never leave my consciousness and I wished I had not seen it. WARNING if you are of a sensitive nature do NOT follow the link!

I know, I am getting through partners at an alarming rate. However a new lady has come into my life, and for reasons I can’t explain I’m calling her MA.

She is vanilla, but she is also a nudist; I met her at the nudist club, so any one who gets naked in public is not in the strictest sense vanilla.

But I digress.

We hung out a few times, had a day out together in London where we visited the Apple store and bought some nice geeky tech kit. We also had a day out shopping in the local town.

But events got intense and we have shared a bed a couple of times. So do you guys wanna know all the sordid sexual details? OK I’ll write some smutty stuff and post it here soon.

Want to see her without knickers? Click the picture for a more revealing shot.

More pictures are here!

Naked Life:

All of these stories have an element of truth in them.

Cycling naked around London. The World Naked Bike Ride is held every year and hundreds of people get naked in major cities all over the world: http://www.worldnakedbikeride.org/

There was a ‘silly season’ story about a man trying to claim he was entitled to go to work naked as his employer forcing him to wear clothes contravened his human rights.

Cheggers did indeed do a naked TV show called Naked Jungle. It was every bit as bad as you imaged it would be. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_Jungle

Lots of folk have done naked parachute jumps. Personally I think you need protective clothing because the ground can be nasty and abrasive if you get dragged along by your ‘chute once you have landed. OUCH!

Spencer Tunic did have an installation in a department store in London. Selfridges. http://thespencertunickexperience.org/oldindex.htm#Selfridges_2003

OK, they are all true to certain extent, but the answer is number one, the London bike ride. I took part in the London ride of the World Naked Bike Ride in 2005 and 2006. Well done prefectDT!

Eliot: you are wrong so what you get is 6 extra smacks when I see you for being cheeky.

Dave: You have to have a helmet to cycle naked.

Dee: Sorry but you were wrong.

Thanks to everyone for participating.

On this meme you will read five “facts” about me. The thing being that four of them are not facts at all but totally untrue lies. What you have to do is identify the genuine fact from the five statements.

Naked Life.

I Cycled naked around London on a busy Saturday afternoon, Regent Street and Oxford Street. It caused a few heads to turn!

I claimed nudism was a form of religion and I was allowed to be naked on ‘dress down’ Fridays at my place of work.

I appeared on a TV show with Keith Chegwin where all the participants were naked. Not the best TV that has ever been broadcast but they did not pixellate the willys.

I did a naked parachute jump for charity to raise money for Skin Cancer awareness.

I participated in a Spencer Tunic installation where we all got naked in big department store in London.

There you go, five reasonably believable ‘facts’. One is true, can you spot it? Leave your answer in the comments. I will publish the answer 23 November. Until then I am away on a trip doing research for a project so I may not have interweb access. Have fun while I am away.

Follow THIS LINK to the vanilla meme on my Alternative Blog.

My mate PrefectDT from the blog SpankedHortic has tagged me with a meme.

Usually I dismiss this stuff as nonsense and I don’t participate, but this one has aroused my curiosity. I read the post on PrefectDT’s blog and at once I started thinking “Which one is true?”

So I am going to participate, and in the best JMRPT and JMAPT traditions I am adding a click through to a different version. A kinky meme and a vanilla meme. Just got to work out what to suggest as porky pies and what to reveal as true.

I need to get my finger out and have it written and posted by Friday as I am away for a week doing research for a project with a client.

Watch this space!

Sex is dependant on lube, either natural or artificial.
Having reached 50+ years one has to realise that the those body parts don’t function quite as they did a few decades back.
Menopause plays havoc with the lube glands in a woman’s vagina.

So to facilitate comfortable sex we started to investigate alternatives to KY Jel.
A bit of web investigation brought us to coconut oil.
It’s perfect for perverts!

• Coconut is a solid at room temperature, so if you knock the tub over during sex it does not make a mess.
• Coconut tastes nice, assuming you like coconut.
• Coconut smells nice. See above.
• Coconut melts under body heat and become silky smooth.
• Coconut makes a good massage oil.
• Coconut makes a good genital lubricant. This is where we started, right?
• Coconut stores at room temperature in it’s tub, in the bedroom or the kitchen.
• And you can put it on toast for a light snack when you’ve finished shagging!

We bought ours from these nice people: coconutoil.co.uk

Click the picture for different type of coconuts!

Autumn – From Hippie Goddess

Click the image to get a different view.

More from Hippie Goddess can be found here: 16 images.

There is an interesting article from the New York Mag about circumcision.

You can read my earlier discussion on circumcision here.

As you may gather I am totally against mutilating little boys in the name of religion or some pseudo-scientific medical reason.

I would like to see research done in North America and Europe on men of all races to get some scientific data on the relationship between circumcision and STD. The African research only relates to negro men in Africa, where other factors may come into play, general hygiene and heath in Africa is very different to USA or Europe.

Also see this account on Twitter: RestoringTally. There is a growing movement to stop the routine circumcision of infant boys.