Just My Random Perverted Thoughts

I had not been around the scene for a while. Work and work and not being near the munches and parties that I used to attend made active involvement difficult.

So I plucked up the courage and started attending a munch nearby. It takes a while to get accepted but I think they like me.

But I digress…

The munch is held in a gay pub, dress code is anything you like as long as you are dressed. I go in my Utilikilt, it amuses both the gay men and the straight women.

I digress again but…

This couple came into then pub. Vanilla dress. They looked a bit awkward. There are many reasons why they might have chosen this pub:

a) They just wanted a drink and saw the pub and came in.
b) They are really gay but were travelling incognito.
c) The are really perverts but were travelling incognito.
d) b) and c) together!
e) Wannabe perverts checking out the scene.

When I saw them I thought a). In fact a) screamed at me long and loud. e) was not on the agenda.

I was propping up the bar with a couple of gay friends, who just happen to be painters and decorators, so I’ll call them Silk and Gloss. (They might be into rubber as well…)

As a relative newcomer to the munch I did not think it was my place to meet and greet newcomers, so Gloss went over and had a word. His rubber trousers squeaked as he walked. A brief exchange took place and Gloss brought the couple over. Vanilla dress. Vanilla speech. They just HAVE to be here by mistake.

Gloss introduced them, let’s call them Mr and Mrs Newbie. They were vanilla but were interested in the scene. Amazingly they had found the much info online and just turned up. Brave people.

We sat drinking and chatting.

Silk, never one to be subtle, started asking personal questions.
“What are you guys into then?” His rubber squeaked as he sat down.

“Bondage, I like him to tie me up.”
“Spanking, I get off on spanking her bum.”
“Anything else?” Silk asked.
“We are exhibitionists, we like an audience.”
Silk looked at Gloss, Gloss looked at me, we all looked at Mr. and Mrs. Newbie.
“Well hello! I think you’re in the right place.”

TW and I had a trip to Brighton a while back. We went for the World Naked Bike Ride, but we stayed on for a few days after as Brighton is a nice pervy place to stay.

We were in TW’s dinky RV and we were wild camping. (Boondocking as our American cousins would call it.)

We went up to Mill Hill and parked in a remote spot overnight.
It was very quiet and peaceful in the evening sunshine.

“Shall we go for a walk?” TW asked.
“If you like.”
“Let’s go naked!” she giggled “I dare you?”
“I am not sure naked is a good idea.” I could see us bumping into ‘Angry of Mayfair’. (See footnote.)
“We could take a pareo to cover up if we bump into anyone.” she suggested.
She rummaged in the closet and produced two pareos, a pink one and a grey one. They were translucent.
“They’re not going to conceal much.” I complained.
“We are not going to meet anyone, come on where is your sense of adventure.” She got undressed and stood waiting expectantly. “Come on get nekkiid we are going for a walk.”
So I got nekkid. We stepped out of the RV and locked it up. She put the key around her neck on a ribbon. We crossed the road and headed off up the footpath, hand in hand. I expected hoards of outraged puritans to descend at any moment.
“This is nice.” She commented. “Gentle breeze and warm sunshine.”
It was very pleasant and as as we got further from the road I relaxed a bit. The footpath was straight and we could see a long way ahead. The chances of meeting anyone was very slight.
We wandered along the path until we reached a T junction where the path met another road. There were some old farm buildings alongside.
“We should have brought a camera.” TW said.
“Next time maybe. Make a nice HNT setting.”
We turned around and retraced our footsteps. The sun was setting; we had a good view of the sunset as we walked down the hill towards the RV.
Back at the RV TW unlocked and we stepped inside. I was quite pleased to be ‘safe’.
“See, we never saw a soul.” TW gave me a naughty look. “Next time nekkied, just our shoes and the camera.”

Footnote: Angry of Mayfair: A character on the Kenny Everett TV show:- A middle-class City gent complaining of the risqué content of the show, banging the camera with his umbrella, only then to be revealed as actually wearing women’s underwear. I searched the web to no avail for a video clip of this character; I am bitterly disappointed.

Chatting with TW about various play scenarios she revealed that her really hot fantasy is the risk of being caught during alfresco play. Mix in some bondage, spanking and humiliation for the perfect scene.

I remembered a footpath down by the river, so I took another look. I thought that I could make it work so I took TW for a walk by the river.

There’s a small ash tree just off the path, nearly, but note quite, hidden from view. As we approached I grabbed TW’s arm and pulled her over to the tree. I leant against her pinning her to the tree. I took some tape from my pocket and taped her to the tree. I wound the tape around her shoulders and around the tree; then around her ankles and the tree. I lifted her dress and pulled her knickers down. More tape held her wrists to her waist and the hem of the dress up. I took out my knife and cut through her knickers and pulled them off and stuffed them in her mouth. More tape gagged her mouth shut. Four reels of tape and she was helpless.

I wandered off looking for some coppiced ash or hazel, I wanted a thin whippy switch. Funny how you can never find just the right switch when you want one. I did eye up some stinging nettles but changed my mind. Eventually I did find a suitable coppiced hazel and cut two switches, one thin and one slightly thicker.

Back at the tree TW was trying to look around but the tape held her firm. I slapped her bottom with my hand a few times then applied the first switch. Thin and whippy; I slashed it across her bum a dozen times. The skin turned a delicate pink. She shuddered and writhed with each stroke. I discarded the thin switch in favour of the thicker one and gave her six hard strokes. It left six stripes on her bottom.

I removed the tape from her face and pulled her knickers out of her mouth. She was breathing hard.
“Listen.” She said, “I can hear voices, someone is coming.”
I turned around and looked down the path.
“Let me go please.” she pleaded.
I could see a couple being taken for a walk by a large dog. The dog was pulling them along the path as they called out to him to heel. Fat chance. The couple were walking away from us, so if they had seen anything it was already too late. No need to tell TW…
“No, you can stay put.”
“Please let me go, you’re not playing fair.”
“No!” I glanced over my shoulder, feigning concern that fast disappearing dog walkers might see.
“You bastard, you’re enjoying this.” She looked daggers at me.
I picked up the thin switch and I slashed her across the bum six times. She screamed out loud.
“How DARE you call me a bastard.”
“Sorry but..”
I ran my hand between her legs, she was slick. I rubbed gently for a while then stopped.
“Oh.. you stopped.”
“Want me to continue?”
She nodded.
The voices of the dog walkers returned. She looked scared. I stood in front of her and gently rubbed her cunt as the voices grew louder. I expected a cold wet nose to make an inquisitive intrusion at any moment. The voices faded. TW was shaking and squirming as I rubbed. She gasped and moaned and shuddered as she lost control. My hand was soaked.
“Lick my fingers.”
I held my hand up to her mouth, she licked.
Slowly I pulled the tape away, releasing her in stages until she was free. She tugged at the hem of her dress to hide her bare bum.
She lent against me and nuzzled up to my neck, kissing me gently.
“Shall we find a more secluded place to continue?” She suggested. “I want to do stuff to you now…”

Our near neighbour and uber kinky friend OO came to see us a while back.

She invited us to a kinky dinner party. “There are 3 or 4 other couples coming, JW and I have a scene we will put on. We wondered if you would like to do the biting scene you put on your blog?”

Before I could say anything MP had accepted the invite.
We had a think about this and have decided to do something different but similar to the play that we posted about. As MP wants it to be a surprise I have to come up with something on my own.

So it looks like I-am-doing-something-but-I-don’t-know-what-yet to MP in public this Saturday evening.

YIKES!

Off we went to the Christmas party at the Nude Spa.

The spa was decorated for Christmas, with a tree and tinsel and all the ‘stuff’. Slightly garish lights but as I really only ‘do’ minimalist and don’t ‘do’ Christmas I am probably not the best judge.

The place was packed, I had never seen so many naked folk in one place before. YAY for naked people is a festive mood. I just wondered what MP was going to get up to.

I soon realised what MP had planned, she had a towel that nearly but no quite went around her, so bits of her peeped out. She was flaunting herself all over the place, shameless hussy!

She bent over in the sauna to put some more water on the coals, pushing her bum out. She sat on the bench with her legs slightly open right by the sauna door. Her boobs just would not stay inside the towel.

In the rest room she sat on a chair with her knees bent up to her chin.
“Do you like me flashing myself?” she asked. “It has an interesting effect on some of the boys.” she giggled.
“You’re very naughty.” I told her, but secretly I did quite like it.
She leaned across and whispered in my ear. “Let’s find a private room so you can spank me for being so naughty me then you can fuck me.” Of course with MP being deaf whisper is a relative term. I think the whole room heard. I am surprised they didn’t all chorus “We know where you’re going!” as we left to go find a private room.

Much to my surprise there was a vacant rest room, so we locked ourselves in.
MP stretched out on the bed face down, naked. I gently ran my hands over her back and bum. She arched her back and wiggled her bum. I smacked her cheeks hard with my hand.
“That does not hurt!” was the response.
I smacked her harder, hurting my hand. Damn, I should have brought an implement.
“You will just have to wait until I get you home, then you’re getting a proper spanking.”
MP turned over and rubbed herself suggestively between her legs, then she tugged on my willy.
“Come on then big boy, let’s see what you can do with this!”

Some time later we exited the rest room and headed for the showers.
“Want to wash me?” she asked. She threw her towel on the bench and stood under the warm water, running her hands over her body.
“You’ll get us chucked out, again!”
“No one’s watching, wash me please.” She rubbed her body up against mine.
I ran my hands over her body, soaping and lathering.
“You’re all stiff again. Perhaps when we get home and after you’ve spanked me we can have sex again?” She did her ‘little girl lost’ look.
“Maybe.” I pulled her from the shower and we dried ourselves before heading for the changing room.

As we walked down the road towards the car she ran ahead and lifted the back of her skirt. Then she turned around and lifted the front.
“Do you like me commando?”
“Yeah, I think I do; wait ’til I get you home…”

I never had MP down as such a little flaunt, but it was really fun to watch her exhibitionism. It raised a few smiles, (and a few erections!) from some of the other guests. Better still; we didn’t get chucked out!