Just My Random Perverted Thoughts » Masturbation

Rude!

Fred Bloggs — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:32:29 +0000

On a lighter note: rude pictures!

More of this at Nena Blue. And it’s VERY rude.

Let’s talk lube!

Fred Bloggs — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:44:26 +0000

Sex is dependant on lube, either natural or artificial.
Having reached 50+ years one has to realise that the those body parts don’t function quite as they did a few decades back.
Menopause plays havoc with the lube glands in a woman’s vagina.

So to facilitate comfortable sex we started to investigate alternatives to KY Jel.
A bit of web investigation brought us to coconut oil.
It’s perfect for perverts!

Coconut is a solid at room temperature, so if you knock the tub over during sex it does not make a mess.
Coconut tastes nice, assuming you like coconut.
Coconut smells nice. See above.
Coconut melts under body heat and become silky smooth.
Coconut makes a good massage oil.
Coconut makes a good genital lubricant. This is where we started, right?
Coconut stores at room temperature in it’s tub, in the bedroom or the kitchen.
And you can put it on toast for a light snack when you’ve finished shagging!

We bought ours from these nice people: coconutoil.co.uk

Click the picture for different type of coconuts!

“Cure” for extreme horniness!

Fred Bloggs — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:36:00 +0000

“Cure” for extreme horniness!

You’ll need to get in some supplies:-

Get a gallon of lube.(An online sex shop is selling lube by the gallon, you don’t want to run out or get sore so go for it.)
Hit the supermarket, you’ll need phallus shaped items: cucumber, gourd, butternut squash, you get the idea. If you’re a bit masochistic you might care for ginger root…
An automatic washing machine with a 1500 RPM spin cycle.
A couple of big towels.

Soak the towels in water and bung them in the washing machine. (An uneven load makes the machine vibrate more…)
Lube yourself up.
Insert the object(s) of your choice in the orifice(s) of your choice.
Put the washing machine on fast spin.
Sit on the washing machine.
V-I-B-R-A-T-E!

I have no idea if this works it’s just my lewd mind.
You could film yourself doing all this and put it up on the web so we can all have some fun!

Inspired by Curvacious Dee twittering