Just My Random Perverted Thoughts

A few weekends back we were invited to a kinky dinner party. My friends GR and AS invited a few of their kinky friends to enjoy a nice dinner and watch AS get a punishment spanking.

Apparently AS was involved in a traffic accident, she drove the wrong way up a one way street and bumped into another car. Unfortunately the police tuned up at just the wrong moment and she ended up in the Magistrates Court trying to wriggle out of getting her driving license revoked.

MA was intrigued by the domestic discipline punishment spanking idea.

“So AS crashed her company’s vehicle, GR got mad and is going to spank her in public?” She suggested.
“I doubt that very much, in fact I an certain it’s exactly the opposite. AS has asked to be spanked.”
“I don’t get it.” MA looked puzzled.
“I am confident that all will be explained by AS at the dinner party.”

On Saturday evening half a dozen kinky people watched as AS dropped her knickers and her husband GR gave her 18 whacks with a cane.

Over dinner AS explained what had happened.

AS was driving her company vehicle. She was looking for a client’s address, she saw the road she needed and just turned into it, missing the fact it was one way. A car pulling out of a driveway collided with her vehicle. Low speed bump, no real damage. Just at this moment a police car came along and nicked AS for driving along the one way street the wrong way. AS already had a few speeding fines so it was looking likely that she might get a driving ban. She went to court with her legal advisor to try to persuade the Magistrate not to impose a driving ban.

Deep down AS was feeling guilty for her mistake and she considered that she deserved to get banned. However; on the day of the hearing her legal eagle managed to persuade the Magistrate not to impose the driving ban. She did, however, get a huge fine.

But AS was still feeling guilty. She had wanted to be punished. So she asked her husband to cane her in front of some friends.

GR caned her. She apologised for her mistake. We all gave her a big hug. She looked much happier afterwards.

The interesting part about all of this is AS works for a funeral company and she was driving a hearse! (No one in the back, she was just visiting a client to make arrangements for a forthcoming funeral.)

“Now do you understand why AS was feeling so guilty?” I asked MA.
“I totally get it now.” she replied.

“You got a game plan to amuse our Slave Boy this weekend?” I asked MA.
She turned over the pages of his email, the one that listed his fantasy, and giggled. “There is some very rude stuff in here!”
“But have you GOT A PLAN!”
“YES I HAVE.” She replied. “Don’t worry.”

As soon as Kiwi Boy arrived MA had him naked, collared and his penis cuffed in a cock ring.
“I don’t want you getting stiff or playing with yourself!”

He was put to work in the kitchen cooking our evening meal, wearing just an apron. MA watched, directing operations with a crop.
“Such a cute butt.” She whispered to me. “Gonna spank him later.”

We sat eating Pasta, MA and I on the Sofa, Slave Boy on the floor.
“Once you have washed up you can run my bath boy.” MA instructed.

MA stretched out in her bath.
“Fill my glass boy.” She held out her wine glass and Slave Boy dutifully filled it up.
“Take my razor, you can shave my legs.” A long limb was held up for his attention.
“Do you like washing me and shaving me boy?”
“Yes Miss, thank you.”
His penis looked mightily uncomfortable straining against the cock rings!

Slave Boy gently patted MA dry.
“I am going to handcuff you to the chair here for a little while.”
Slave boy sat on the upright wooden chair, MA cuffed his hands to the back. We retired to the bedroom.
“Leave the door open, I want the boy to hear what is going on.”
MA is not normally noisy durning sex but on this occasion she hammed it up and had screaming orgasms.

Slave boy shrieked. I rushed outside to see what was happening. MA had taken him outside to wash her car. What could she be doing to him?
“What are you doing to him, you’ll attract the attention of the neighbours.” I complained.
“They are both out so it’s quite safe.”
Slave Boy was cuffed to the trellis, MA was washing him in cold water from the hose pipe.
“I pissed on him, so now I have to wash him, I don’t want him dripping pee in the house.”
Slave Boy looked quite happy, apart form the shock of the cold water.

“Sit here and watch TV while we go in the bedroom.”
Slave Boy was firmly bound in silk scarves. Abby Winters porn was playing on the TV in full 1080P HD.
“Girls exercising with fitness balls, should keep you amused for a while.” She tightened the straps on the ‘Gates of Hell’ around his penis.

MA ran her hands over Slave Boy’s back and butt. Slapped his cheeks gently.
“Would you like to come, a nice orgasm, let me take the cock ring off and let you play with him?”
“Yes please Miss.”
“I can do that but there is a condition, I will spank you, beat you with my cane, are you willing to suffer the pain in exchange for the pleasure.”
MA was teasing him, standing close to him, both naked. Running her hands over his body. The cane was listed as a hard limit on his list. MA was pushing all his buttons, but the cane was a limit too far. He was agonising over the choice.
“No Miss, please not the cane.”
MA swished the cane through the air.”Well I will leave your little cock locked up all night.”
She smacked his butt cheeks with her hand, then with the paddle. “Six strokes of the cane and you could have been free but it’s too late now.” She whacked him hard with the paddle. “Such a cute butt!”

Monday morning MA took Slave Boy to his work. Still with his cock ring in place.
“You must ‘phone me this evening and ask permission to take your cock ring off and have a wank, is that clear?”
“Yes Miss.”

“Are you going to let him wank tonight I asked.”
“No; I thought I would make him wait until Wednesday.”
“You’re missing your vocation in life, you could go Pro Domme.”
“Fun for weekend but I would not want all and sundry at the door. I only want the cute young ones with attractive Kiwi accents and nice butts.”

Wednesday evening MA phoned Slave Boy and gave him the good news.
Friday morning the flower shop called with a big bouquet for MA and a nice letter of thanks.
MA arranged her flowers in a vase.
“Such a good slave, I think we should have him here again, what do you think?”
“Yeah, get him to do the garden next time!”
“That’s not really the idea but OK!”

“Did you enjoy your evening at the Fetish & Spanking Party?” I asked MA.
“Oh yes, very much. Silk and Gloss are so cute!” She was full of enthusiasm. “But …”
“But what?”
“Well the spankings were quite mild, I expected it to be a bit more …” She paused to think “A bit more severe.”
“It’s a play party, we have fun, not thrash folk senseless.”
“Yes I know really.”
“AS spanked me quite hard.” I complained.
“Those cane marks had almost gone before we left the party! Lightweight.” She gave me a disapproving look.
“You spanked Kiwi boy really hard when he was over your lap.”
“That was fun, I enjoyed that. I hurt my hand.” She giggled.
“There is good news, that cute Kiwi boy wants to play with you again, he’s up for a harder spanking.”
“Squeeeeeee!” She grinned from ear to ear.

Kiwi Boy is going to stay with MA and me over the weekend, so MA gets her own personal slave from Friday evening to Monday morning. She is VERY excited!

The Time Traveller’s Wife is a book by Audrey Niffenegger. Despite the title it is not science fiction, but a quirky love story. There is also a film of the book, but the book is better.

So what’s this gotta do with pervy thoughts?

The hero of the book, the time traveller is talking with his wife about a previous girlfriend.
“A bank teller with big tits who liked to be spanked.” he describes.
“Spanked?” the wife queries.

Except she is not his wife, he had time travelled back to when she was a teenager. Confused? Read the book, all will be clear.

The book is totally vanilla so if you want a spanking read you will be disappointed. It’s just that this particular passage amused me.

“Come on, let’s play in the dungeon.” AS was tugging at my arm pulling me towards the door of the dungeon.
MA took my other arm and they led me into Silk and Gloss’s dungeon. The dungeon is the spare bedroom, painted deep maroon it smells of sweat and leather. In the centre is an exquisite whipping bench.

The two girls dragged me over to the bench and secured my wrists and ankles to the frame, so that I was standing but spread.
“This kilt is handy.” AS undid the wrap around garment and removed it. “Ooh, no underwear, naughty!”
She ran her hands over my bum, soft cool hands. “Nice arse!”
“Spankable arse.” MA agreed.
“What shall we do to him then?” MA gently tugged on my erection.
“Tease him to distraction then whip his cute bum?” AS suggested.
Both girls giggled. MA slapped my bum with her hand. “Check out our toy collection, I think we have paddles and canes.
“Fancy being caned Fred?” AS asked. “Because I really want to put a 5 bar gate pattern on that cute arse of yours.”

“Warm his arse up with this.” SA handed MA a leather paddle. “I need to sort myself out.”
MA smacked my bum with the paddle, while alternating with gentle strokes of my erection, and scratching my back and chest with her fingernails. AS sat in the chair, her leather skirt pulled up and her hand down her knickers.
“Do you like watching Fred?” She inquired. “Do you like being teased?”
The paddle smacks were getting harder, and AS was getting closer to an orgasm.
“Make him spunk, I want to watch!” AS was very close to her orgasm. MA stroked my erection faster, there was no holding back.
The girls swapped places, MA watching from the chair, AS wielding the cane. Six slashes across my arse, five horizontally and one diagonally.
“Hurts more after you have come doesn’t it?” AS whispered in my ear.
“Release him and let him come over to me, I need him to attend to me.” MA pulled her dress up and sat with her legs splayed. “Come here and lick me off Fred.”

Back in the lounge we stood sipping drinks and mingling with the players.
“Dungeon OK?” Silk asked.
“Very nice thank you.” AS smiled. “Most fun I’ve had in ages.”
A cool hand felt up my kilt. “How’s your bum?” MA inquired.
“Sore, I think I’ll stay standing for a while.”

Ever played musical chairs? Wikipedia explains all about it.

At Silk and Gloss parties we play musical laps.
Players get to spank lots of different bottoms or get spanked by different tops.
It’s the same rules as the musical chairs except the chairs are occupied by sitters and the players go over the laps of the sitters when the music stops.
They get spanked until the music restarts.
The rules are that you can’t go over your own partners lap, and the player without a lap when the music stops chooses the lap to be removed, usually their own partner.
Great fun.
Silly.
Slightly naughty.
Best played drunk.

“Help me get into the dress?” MA passed me the talcum powder. I smothered her in powder. We stretched and tugged at the latex until she was firmly encased.
“Feels tight.” She wriggled around and adjusted her boobs. “But it’s nice.”
She slipped her pink ballet slippers on her feet and then puled on her gloves.
“How do I look?”
“Fabulous!”
I put my black rubber kilt on, nice and easy as it is a wrap around design, with the matching waistcoat. Black boots completed the outfit.
“Very butch! Slightly gay!” MA commented.
I grabbed the bag of spanking toys and we were all set to PARTY.

I rang the doorbell. A pause then the door opened a crack.
Silk looked through the crack and then flung the door wide open.
In we went.
“Nice outfit.” He complimented MA.
A few folk had arrived and were stood around chatting. There was a slight smell of rubber and talc in the air.
“It’s strange, I go from feeling self conscious in my outfit because it’s kinky to feeling slightly underdressed when I see everyone else. I think I am going to get an outrageously over the top outfit for the next time.”
I handed MA the pink crop.
“You will definitely need this before the evening is over.”
“Come and meet Kiwi.” Gloss took MA by the arm and led her over to a cute guy.
“This is MA. She is going to spank you later. Look, he’s got a really cute bum, very spankable.”
Gloss spun Kiwi around and showed off his butt. Kiwi liked all the attention.
“Me spanking? Did you know about this?” MA asked me.
“Well yes I did have an inking.”
“So you set me up?”
“You asked me to set you up!” I defended myself.
“That’s still quite naughty.” Silk suggested “So you can spank Fred as well.”
“These things are best in threes so we need a third victim.” Gloss glanced around “Maybe a girl…”
“I know just the girl, she’ll be here later.” Silk looked conspiratorially at Gloss. “You know who?”
“Yeees!”
MA and I exchanged glanced. “I have no idea.” I said.
“I thought I was just going to be a spectator.” MA complained.
“No spectators at our parties, EVERYONE has to participate!” Gloss confirmed.
My old friends AS and GR arrived later. Silk collared AS straight away.
“We have a newbie who needs a girls bum to smack.”
“Oooh yes please.” AS was all excited at the prospect of a new play partner.

So the scene is set. More later …

Off to a party tonight and I fully expect much depravity and maybe a vanilla girl will get to do some spanking in public. Maybe, just maybe, she will GET spanked in public.

“So I can’t use a cane until I’ve had some practice?” MA’s voice had a hint of incredulity.
“Yup, it’s dangerous to swish a cane around until you have spanked a few pillows.” I confirmed.

MA weighed the little red paddle in her hand.
“You have such a cute butt.”
WHACK
“Ow!”
“Did that hurt?”
“Just a bit!”
WHACK! WHACK!
“Yow! Fucking Hell!”
“Hey this is fun. Does it hurt much?”
I blinked to clear the tears from my eyes. “Did I mention that this is supposed to be fun?”
“I’m having fun. Oh your butt is sooo cute with pink cheeks.” She ran her cool hand over my cheeks. “So cute.”
WHACK! WHACK! She giggled. “I had no idea kink was so much fun!”

SWISH!
“This clear plastic one looks good!”
The pillow took another hard stroke.
“It’s all in the wrist action really.” I explained.
“Like wanking?” She whacked the pillow again.
“OK bend over, I want a real live target.”
“I’m not so sure if you have had enough practice …”
“BEND OVER!”
“One does not normally start with the long Lexan, there is a short rattan for beginners.”
“OVER! Just one on your bum so I can gauge your reaction.”
I bent, a pause, SWISH!
“Fuck that hurt.”
“Drop your pants, let’s see the result.”
I dropped my trousers and underpants. A cool hand ran over my bum.
“Wow, that’s really marked you, amazing, who’d have thought it. One more on the bare perhaps?”
I pulled my trousers up. “No, definitely not.”
“So what’s next?”
I grabbed her and pulled her over my lap.
“Time for a little retaliation I think.”

Chatting with Krisi recently via Twitter she revealed that she is getting a harness and a strap on; with the intention of fucking someone soon.

I asked her if she wanted to fuck a girl or a boy and she replied that she had no preference.
I suggested that I would be a willing boy fuckee if she would be a spankee for my Lexan cane.

Much to my surprise she went for this idea and agreed.

However this is a long way from a done deal. The minor geographical problems of me in England and her in the middle of the US, lack of a US visa for me and a passport for her, financial consideration, the UK grounded by volcanic ash; so this is not going to happen any time soon.

But it gets me thinking: one day I intend to visit the US and pass through all 50 states, so I might be in her neighbourhood.

So if you hear screams, squeals, sighs and swishing sounds from an RV parked up in the middle of nowhere, it may just be Kristi and me consummating the deal.

I am partial to some anal sex but this is not quite what I normally indulge in …