Just My Random Perverted Thoughts

In the market for a new vibrator ladies?

Lady Clankington has a range of steampunk ray gun vibrators for your clitoral pleasure.

Take a look at this lady with her strapon and whip.

Just imagine what she could do to her slave!

Found on RED OPTICS

… and other delicacies!

We had a bizarre culinary weekend at the nudist club. Some bright spark suggested we made a meal with just the main ingredients found in the club grounds. This sounds like a good idea but really did not turn out that well.

I have had an ambition to catch a Muntjac deer and BBQ it, but they are elusive creatures and once I had my .22 air rifle loaded and ready to go they all vanished.

I had to make do with grey squirrel in a ragout, which was probably the best dish of the weekend.

The scary Wiccan lady with her mad husband produced a nettle soup, which was pleasant if a little bland. I would have spiced it up with Worcestershire sauce but apparently that would have meant it was no longer vegetarian. (Give me tasty over veggie any time.)

But the nastiest dish of the weekend was the slug chowder. The crazy hippie contingent produced this bizarre dish that was just nasty. Nasty taste, nasty texture and the whole idea is just nasty.

We washed it all down with a few pints of real ale and as far as I know we all survived and no one was sick.

We may even try it again later in the season. Anyone got a .303 rifle I can borrow to bag myself a Muntjac?

From Red Charls. It’s en Français but the pictures are all in English.

For the benefit of North American readers: When Leah is asked “Where is that noise coming from?” she replies “My fanny!” Leah speaks British English so FANNY is a slang term for VAGINA. OK so now the English language lesson is over go watch the clip.

Video clip of Leah and her party trick.

I also have a question for Leah. How did you learn to do that?

Here is Christmas Pudding wrapper. Have a look at the BIG image and read the warning I circled in red.

It had to be worth a punt, I microwaved it for 10 minutes, totally inedible but disappointingly it failed to ignite!

Waitrose fail!

This is a new occasional feature for JMRPT.

Stuff I wish I didn’t know!

I found this by following a link from Stephen Fry’s Twitter feed to an article in the British newspaper “The Telegraph”.

This guy gets off by going in farmyards and covering himself in cow shit then wanking.

I know it takes all sorts to make a world but really I didn’t need to know this.

I want it out of my head please.

It reminds me of the ‘Two Girls One Cup’ video that I was shown; that will never leave my consciousness and I wished I had not seen it. WARNING if you are of a sensitive nature do NOT follow the link!

Bonnie has posted an intriguing entry on her blog.

I must have missed something, maybe I was hanging the washing out or in the closet but could some one tell me what’s going on please?